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Top seven quotes from the Top 100 funny quotes.
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Anonymous
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Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
Anonymous
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime.
Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.
Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.
Anonymous
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
Anonymous
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The awkward moment when someone's zipper is down and you don't know whether to tell them or not.
Anonymous
That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds.
Anonymous
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent."
Anonymous
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