Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. - Anonymous
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Top 100
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous
Drinking Questions Stupid Quotes
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. - Anonymous
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! - Anonymous
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous
I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. - Anonymous
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous
Animals
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. Anonymous
Questions
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday.
Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? - Anonymous
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? Anonymous
Questions Top 100
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. - Anonymous
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes

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