Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes Top 100
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm. Anonymous
Life Quotes
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Top 100
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. - Anonymous
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Top 100
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
Questions Sayings Top 100
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
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