Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." - Anonymous
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it." Anonymous
Know Quotes
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Anonymous
Life Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Time Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. - Anonymous
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes
A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. - Anonymous
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. Anonymous
Life Quotes
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
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