Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
I think my soulmate might be carbs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
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I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
That awkward moment when it's quiet in class and your stomach decides to sound make whale mating sounds. Anonymous
Auto-correct is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things. Anonymous
My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool." Anonymous
If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Short Quotes
When I take a shower I'm: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I asked my boyfriend when is his birthday is, and he said March 1st. So I marched in a circle around the room, then asked again. Anonymous
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. - Anonymous
Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me. Anonymous
I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It's called being hungry. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
From now I'm going on a strict diet.... Oh look, burger and fries! Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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