Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. - Anonymous
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
Want someone to stop texting you? Send back 'SERVICE ERROR 305: DELIVERY FAILED, FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED AT A RATE OF $1 PER MESSAGE TO YOUR ACCOUNT." - Anonymous
Want someone to stop texting you? Send back 'SERVICE ERROR 305: DELIVERY FAILED, FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED AT A RATE OF $1 PER MESSAGE TO YOUR ACCOUNT." Anonymous
Questions
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Anonymous
I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie.
Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.
The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? - Anonymous
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? Anonymous
Questions Top 100
I'm not stubborn, my way is just better than yours. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. Anonymous
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Time Quotes
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. - Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes

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