Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August. - Anonymous
Don't blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Honestly, I don't even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I'm like "I guess this is what we're doing now." Anonymous
Life Quotes
We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth. Anonymous
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Here's human empathy for you: Things die all over our windshields and we're like, "Man, I just washed this!" Anonymous
Life Quotes
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. - Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. - Anonymous
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know. Anonymous
Shopping is the only exercise I need. - Anonymous
Shopping is the only exercise I need. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

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