Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. - Anonymous
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
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Beer together
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Moments
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements Top 100
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. - Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Wise Quotes
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Never Quotes
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. - Anonymous
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. Anonymous
Life Quotes
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes Work Quotes
When things get hot, they expand, so I'm just getting warmer, not gaining weight. Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. - Anonymous
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes

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