Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. - Anonymous
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
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Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes Money Quotes
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? - Anonymous
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Anonymous
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. - Anonymous
I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. - Anonymous
You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes

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