Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Know Quotes Life Quotes
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
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The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low. Anonymous
Phone
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. - Anonymous
My goal this weekend is to move... just enough so people don't think I'm dead. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Sayings
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? - Anonymous
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? Anonymous
Love Quotes
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. - Anonymous
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. - Anonymous
On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
Life is too short to remove USB safely. - Anonymous
Life is too short to remove USB safely. Anonymous
Computers Life Quotes Short Quotes

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