Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! - Anonymous
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. - Anonymous
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Sponsored Links
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. - Anonymous
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
I am too lazy to be lazy.
I am too lazy to be lazy. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
Know Quotes Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. - Anonymous
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.
To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top. Anonymous
Animals Funny Tree Quotes Good Quotes
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. - Anonymous
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. - Anonymous
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. Anonymous
Facebook Internet Life Quotes
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. - Anonymous
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Anonymous
Statements
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. - Anonymous
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Facebook

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