Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. - Anonymous
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes Moments
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I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. - Anonymous
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - Anonymous
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? Anonymous
Phone Questions Short Quotes
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. - Anonymous
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
Analogies
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
Sayings Wise Quotes
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. - Anonymous
Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Think Quotes
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! - Anonymous
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! Anonymous
Moments
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

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