Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" Anonymous
Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? Anonymous
Life Quotes
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Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes
You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up! - Anonymous
You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up! Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. - Anonymous
Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. - Anonymous
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. Anonymous
Computers Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous
Computers Friend Quotes Short Quotes
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100 Work Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
Questions
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. - Anonymous
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. Anonymous
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