Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous
Internet People Quotes Top 100
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it. - Anonymous
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it. Anonymous
Work Quotes
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? - Anonymous
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Anonymous
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys.
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. - Anonymous
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face. - Anonymous
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending. - Anonymous
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous
When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes

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