Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.
Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. - Anonymous
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. - Anonymous
I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
It's really complicated to make something simple.
It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated. Anonymous
Sayings Statements Top 100
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty.
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Money Quotes
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. - Anonymous
Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Facebook
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. - Anonymous
Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people. Anonymous
Internet People Quotes Top 100
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
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