Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. - Anonymous
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. Anonymous
Sayings
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. - Anonymous
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. Anonymous
Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Never Quotes
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty.
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes Money Quotes
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Eat Quotes
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" - Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" Anonymous
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... - Anonymous
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities... Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. - Anonymous
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!! - Anonymous
I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle. Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Everyone wants your happiness. Don't let them take it!! Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? - Anonymous
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Anonymous
Questions Sayings Short Quotes
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. - Anonymous
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken seriously. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

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