Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
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People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. - Anonymous
Good friends are like stars, you can't always see them but you know they're there. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Questions Short Quotes
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. - Anonymous
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness. Anonymous
Phone Questions Short Quotes
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. - Anonymous
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. - Anonymous
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.
In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes

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