Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. - Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
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If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
Drinking Sayings
Your cake
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes Sayings
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. - Anonymous
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. - Anonymous
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes Short Quotes
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. - Anonymous
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.
Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. - Anonymous
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is. Anonymous
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