Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels. - Anonymous
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." - Anonymous
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous
Statements Work Quotes
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous
Animals
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. Anonymous
I told my boss three companies were looking after me and I needed a raise. He asked who they were, so told him the gas, electric and cable company. Anonymous
Work Quotes
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year! - Anonymous
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year! Anonymous
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements Top 100
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it's time to fall asleep. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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