Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

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Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous

Sayings

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes

It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous

I'm not bored of being quarantined, last night I even struck up a conversation with a spider. Turns out he's a web designer. Anonymous

Animals

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Teachers are really pirates that are using us to find the "X". Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

When things get hot, they expand, so I'm just getting warmer, not gaining weight. Anonymous

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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