Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. - Anonymous
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! - Anonymous
I was gonna take over the world today but I overslept. Postponed, again! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face. - Anonymous
Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face. Anonymous
Sayings
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Think Quotes
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous
Drinking Never Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'd walk thought fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous.
I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion.
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Witty Quotes
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. - Anonymous
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
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