Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. - Anonymous
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. - Anonymous
I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. - Anonymous
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Know Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. - Anonymous
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. - Anonymous
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year! - Anonymous
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year! Anonymous

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