Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. - Anonymous
Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
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You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. - Anonymous
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. - Anonymous
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Math Quotes Sayings
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. - Anonymous
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes Love Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous
Computers Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. - Anonymous
No matter how bad it gets I'm always rich when I go to the dollar store. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.
The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm. Anonymous
Life Quotes
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
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