Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm staying up past midnight this New Year's eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over. Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
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When I say "Good night," I'm just sending you off to bed, I'm not going to sleep! Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous
Animals People Quotes Short Quotes
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. - Anonymous
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. Anonymous
Life Quotes
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. - Anonymous
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. - Anonymous
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. Anonymous
Sayings
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." - Anonymous
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Top 100
4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous
4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous
I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. Anonymous
Statements

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