Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. - Anonymous
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. - Anonymous
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. - Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
Questions
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. Anonymous
Life Quotes
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom. Anonymous
Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. - Anonymous
Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! - Anonymous
If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! Anonymous
Work Quotes
Your cake
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes Sayings
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" Anonymous
Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Anonymous
Man Quotes Marriage Quotes Think Quotes
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." - Anonymous
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." Anonymous
Man Quotes Moments

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