Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous
Sayings
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Top 100
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Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes
I only have one wish in life... For all my dreams to come true. - Anonymous
I only have one wish in life... For all my dreams to come true. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals Top 100
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say Help, I've been turned into a parrot.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous
Animals
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. - Anonymous
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes Short Quotes
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous
Good Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. - Anonymous
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. Anonymous
Phone Short Quotes
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching.
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. - Anonymous
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

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