Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. - Anonymous
We're all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap. Anonymous
Short Quotes
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. - Anonymous
My boss asked me where I see myself in 5 years. I told him if his hair keeps falling out, I'll see myself in his bald spot. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Work Quotes
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. - Anonymous
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes
When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. - Anonymous
When I find it, I don't need it. When I need it, I can't find it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! - Anonymous
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I told my boss three companies were looking after me and I needed a raise. He asked who they were, so told him the gas, electric and cable company. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. - Anonymous
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. Anonymous
People Quotes
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. - Anonymous
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. - Anonymous
A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. - Anonymous
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. Anonymous
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