Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. - Anonymous
Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
You can teach a cat to do...
You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
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I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. - Anonymous
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. - Anonymous
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. Anonymous
Short Quotes
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom. Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. - Anonymous
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Wise Quotes
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings
A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair.
A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements

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