Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears. - Anonymous
Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears. Anonymous
Short Quotes
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Anonymous
Man Quotes Marriage Quotes Think Quotes
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
Time Quotes Work Quotes
Don't wake me up! I'm studying. - Anonymous
Don't wake me up! I'm studying. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
Analogies
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
Questions
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Next time I lose my mind I swear I'm not even going to look for it any more. - Anonymous
Next time I lose my mind I swear I'm not even going to look for it any more. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. - Anonymous
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. - Anonymous
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. Anonymous
Phone Short Quotes
Age only matters if you are a cheese.
Age only matters if you are a cheese. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.
Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night. Anonymous
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