Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! - Anonymous
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous
Witty Quotes
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Analogies Sleep Quotes Top 100
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? - Anonymous
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
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Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes TV Quotes
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. - Anonymous
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. Anonymous
Math Quotes Wise Quotes
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Top 100
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.
When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it. Anonymous
Analogies Sayings Top 100
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. - Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. - Anonymous
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless. - Anonymous
But doctor, where is the umbilical cord? New technology, it's wireless. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going. Anonymous
Sayings
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!! - Anonymous
Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!! Anonymous
Never Quotes Short Quotes
If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.
If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet. Anonymous
Computers Internet Think Quotes

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