Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Life is too short to worry about matching socks. - Anonymous
Life is too short to worry about matching socks. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous
Phone
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What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Facebook
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. - Anonymous
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Phone
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. - Anonymous
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Statements
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? - Anonymous
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

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