Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous
Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. - Anonymous
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. Anonymous
Phone Short Quotes
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous
Wife Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
Questions
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. - Anonymous
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Anonymous
Analogies Never Quotes Short Quotes
I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited. - Anonymous
I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes
A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. - Anonymous
A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. - Anonymous
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. - Anonymous
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100

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