Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
Drinking Sayings
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.
I'm old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. Anonymous
Life Quotes
If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. - Anonymous
If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. - Anonymous
When I try on an outfit and it doesn't make me look good, I just throw it on the floor. Like, no, you don't deserve to be hung up, think about what you've done. Anonymous
Good Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous
Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Computers Internet Top 100
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" - Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. - Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Top 100
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Statements
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. - Anonymous
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
Questions
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." Anonymous
Questions

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