Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous
Wife Quotes
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. Anonymous
Work Quotes
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. - Anonymous
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! - Anonymous
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries! Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Know Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. - Anonymous
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. Anonymous
Life Quotes
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. - Anonymous
My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. Anonymous
Age only matters if you are a cheese.
Age only matters if you are a cheese. Anonymous
Short Quotes
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. Anonymous
Statements

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