Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! - Anonymous
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. Anonymous
Statements
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. - Anonymous
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. Anonymous
Short Quotes
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? Anonymous
Questions Top 100
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! - Anonymous
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote! Anonymous
Animals TV Quotes Top 100
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. - Anonymous
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Know Quotes
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. - Anonymous
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. - Anonymous
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
Sayings
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. - Anonymous
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. - Anonymous
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes

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