Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. - Anonymous
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous
Statements
Dear Humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library. Anonymous
Computers Internet Top 100
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
Drinking Sayings
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Statements
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. - Anonymous
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. - Anonymous
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." Anonymous
Questions
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared! Anonymous
Animals Love Quotes Top 100
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. - Anonymous
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. - Anonymous
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. Anonymous
Love Quotes

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