Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. - Anonymous
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. - Anonymous
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. Anonymous
Life Quotes
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I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. - Anonymous
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous
"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
Questions Sayings Top 100
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. - Anonymous
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it. Anonymous
Sayings
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. - Anonymous
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. - Anonymous
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work. - Anonymous
Tell me what is your dream job? In my dreams I don't work. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes

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