Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. - Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous
Moments Top 100
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. - Anonymous
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. - Anonymous
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - Anonymous
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? Anonymous
Phone Questions Short Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Pros and cons for making food: Pro: Food. Con: Making. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. - Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments People Quotes
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. - Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments Top 100
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. - Anonymous
If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter. Anonymous
Sayings Wise Quotes
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100

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