Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." - Anonymous
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. Anonymous
Animals People Quotes Short Quotes
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I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. - Anonymous
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anonymous
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous
Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Top 100
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
Time Quotes Work Quotes
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. - Anonymous
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Wise Quotes
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long!
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes

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