Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? - Anonymous
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. - Anonymous
I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
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Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. - Anonymous
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" - Anonymous
Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think "Wow, my house looks awesome!" Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. - Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie.
Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. - Anonymous
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. - Anonymous
As your best friend I'll always pick you up when you fall, after I finish laughing. Anonymous
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