Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
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Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours?
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Funny Tree Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous
Phone
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous
Drinking Never Quotes Stupid Quotes
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. Anonymous
Questions
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red! Anonymous
Questions Top 100

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