Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Statements
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? - Anonymous
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. - Anonymous
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
Sayings
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. - Anonymous
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments
Don't press your luck, you might pop it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Don't press your luck, you might pop it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. - Anonymous
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. - Anonymous
Ironing boards are surf boards that quit before achieving their dream. Don't be an ironing board. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Me and my best friend can communicate with just facial expressions. - Anonymous
Me and my best friend can communicate with just facial expressions. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone

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