Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie.
Fortune cookie: You'll have a better fortune in the next cookie. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. - Anonymous
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? - Anonymous
I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there.. it hasn't gone anywhere. What's the problem? Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes
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Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending. - Anonymous
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments Top 100
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous
Me sarcastic? Never. - Anonymous
Me sarcastic? Never. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous
Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. - Anonymous
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny. - Anonymous
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Top 100
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous
Moments Questions Short Quotes
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. - Anonymous
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100

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