Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. - Anonymous
If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Stupid Quotes
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes Work Quotes
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. - Anonymous
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious. - Anonymous
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. - Anonymous
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Anonymous
Work Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! - Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
Time Quotes Work Quotes
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. - Anonymous
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. - Anonymous
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. Anonymous
Analogies Math Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

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