Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. - Anonymous
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.
Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Anonymous
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.
I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes Witty Quotes
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats. - Anonymous
What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. - Anonymous
I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent. Anonymous
Drinking Statements
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. - Anonymous
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Moments Short Quotes
I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. - Anonymous
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. - Anonymous
Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers. Anonymous
Top 100 Work Quotes
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. - Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes

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