Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You can trust your dog to guard your house.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous
Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. - Anonymous
My imaginary friend thinks he has problems. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous
Questions Sayings
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
Drinking Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. - Anonymous
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. - Anonymous
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. - Anonymous
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. - Anonymous
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Anonymous
Life Quotes Phone Short Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. - Anonymous
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. Anonymous
Analogies Eat Quotes Top 100
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you. Anonymous
People Quotes

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