Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
Facebook Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous
Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.
Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. - Anonymous
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math. Anonymous
Math Quotes Moments People Quotes
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. - Anonymous
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. - Anonymous
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. - Anonymous
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors. - Anonymous
I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. Anonymous
Drinking
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. - Anonymous
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments
Smiles are contagious... be a carrier. - Anonymous
Smiles are contagious... be a carrier. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous
Animals Top 100

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