Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? - Anonymous
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." - Anonymous
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once." Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous
Animals Eat Quotes Good Quotes
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. - Anonymous
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. - Anonymous
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. Anonymous
Internet Top 100
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. - Anonymous
For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles. Anonymous
Analogies Math Quotes Short Quotes
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. - Anonymous
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes

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