Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. - Anonymous
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Questions
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. - Anonymous
Dear automatic flushing toilet... I appreciate the enthusiasm, but I wasn't done yet. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. - Anonymous
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. - Anonymous
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. - Anonymous
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion. Anonymous
Facebook Moments Short Quotes
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. - Anonymous
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous
Work Quotes
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

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