Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes Top 100

I'm not sure what is more scary these days, checking my temperature or checking my weight. Anonymous

Zoning out is your brain's way of saying "You look bored. Let me take you to a better place." Anonymous

Think Quotes

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous

People Quotes Phone

I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Statements

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. Anonymous

Internet Top 100

I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance. Anonymous

Moments Short Quotes

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Internet

Never ask a starfish for directions. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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