Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If one door closes and another door opens... your house is probably haunted. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth. - Anonymous
I keep pressing the space bar, but I'm still on Earth. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. - Anonymous
At night, I can't fall asleep. In the morning, I can't get up. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. - Anonymous
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. Anonymous
Facebook People Quotes Top 100
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. - Anonymous
I don't have bad handwriting, I'm just using my own font. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it? - Anonymous
Think of a number between 1 and 10. Multiply it by 9 and subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it? Anonymous
Math Quotes Think Quotes
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements Top 100
If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Anonymous
Sayings
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous
Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
Internet Top 100 Witty Quotes
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. - Anonymous
Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements

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