Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. - Anonymous
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Top 100
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Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous
People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. - Anonymous
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. - Anonymous
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Anonymous
Good Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous
Phone
Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous
Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. - Anonymous
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship? Anonymous
Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

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