Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. - Anonymous
Modern intelligence: if all bathrooms in the house are taken, turn off the internet. Anonymous
Internet Top 100 Witty Quotes
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... - Anonymous
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by... Anonymous
People Quotes Phone Stupid Quotes
My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes. - Anonymous
My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes. Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes Short Quotes
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100
If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don't open it. It's spam - Anonymous
If you ever get an email about pork, ham, salt, and preservatives, don't open it. It's spam Anonymous
Sayings
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. - Anonymous
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. - Anonymous
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive. Anonymous
Money Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. - Anonymous
I know some people don't like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste. Anonymous
People Quotes Top 100
Me watching Olympics: Woah! That was outstanding! Announcer: Another devastating mistake. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes TV Quotes Top 100
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. - Anonymous
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do. Anonymous
Math Quotes Top 100

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