Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM!
Anonymous
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys.
Anonymous
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Anonymous
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep.
Anonymous
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present."
Anonymous
I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.
Anonymous
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said.
Anonymous
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.
Anonymous