Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly! - Anonymous
Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly! Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
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Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Top 100
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous
Moments Questions Short Quotes
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. - Anonymous
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous
Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous
People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. - Anonymous
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous
Phone
Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous
Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. - Anonymous
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes

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