Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! - Anonymous
You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't know where something is? MOM! Anonymous
Facebook Top 100
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys. Anonymous
Sayings
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. - Anonymous
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. Anonymous
Sayings
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. - Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Know Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears. - Anonymous
Seeing a spider in my room isn't scary. It's scary when it disappears. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. - Anonymous
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. Anonymous
Good Quotes Lazy Quotes Life Quotes
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present." Anonymous
Life Quotes
I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you. Anonymous
Sayings
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. - Anonymous
Whoever said "Out of sight, out of mind" never had a spider disappear in their bedroom. Anonymous
Sayings
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. - Anonymous
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. Anonymous
Moments
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. - Anonymous
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes Top 100
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. - Anonymous
Friends are like rainbows, always there to cheer you up after a storm. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship. - Anonymous
I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes Short Quotes

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