Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes

I love all mythical creatures... vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen. Anonymous

Love Quotes

It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous

Friend Quotes

I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Statements Top 100

You know you are lazy when you get excited about cancelling your plans. Anonymous

Know Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly! Anonymous

Phone Witty Quotes

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

Them: Money doesn't bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad. Anonymous

Money Quotes

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. Anonymous

Moments

There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous

Facebook Short Quotes Top 100

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Top 100

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous

People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous

Sayings Sleep Quotes

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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