Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. - Anonymous
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
I just spent half an hour looking for my phone in the car, using the flashlight on my phone. Anonymous
Phone
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Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship? Anonymous
Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it. - Anonymous
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. - Anonymous
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better. Anonymous
Moments
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert. - Anonymous
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020. Anonymous
Short Quotes
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late. - Anonymous
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
I already want to take a nap tomorrow. - Anonymous
I already want to take a nap tomorrow. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

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