Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous
Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Statements Top 100
Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly! - Anonymous
Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly! Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Them: Money doesn't bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad. Anonymous
Money Quotes
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? - Anonymous
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it? Anonymous
Moments Questions Short Quotes
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. - Anonymous
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. Anonymous
Moments
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. - Anonymous
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary. Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Top 100
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous
Questions Top 100 Work Quotes
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. Anonymous
People say "go big or go home" like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah I want to go home, and I'll have a nap when I get there. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes
Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. - Anonymous
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. - Anonymous
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. Anonymous
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