Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. - Anonymous
Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
What's your favorite childhood memory? Not paying bills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous
I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. - Anonymous
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Wise Quotes
Ever looked at your ex and wondered... was I drunk the entire relationship? Anonymous
Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it. - Anonymous
Lazy Rule: Can't reach it, don't need it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. - Anonymous
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick. Anonymous
Facebook TV Quotes Time Quotes
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better. Anonymous
Moments
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert. - Anonymous
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I survived the great toilet paper scare of 2020. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet. - Anonymous
Some people can't sleep because they have insomnia. I can't sleep because I have Internet. Anonymous
Internet Sleep Quotes

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