Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late. - Anonymous
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
I already want to take a nap tomorrow. - Anonymous
I already want to take a nap tomorrow. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
Questions
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. - Anonymous
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. Anonymous
Love Quotes People Quotes
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. - Anonymous
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. - Anonymous
Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100
I'm not stubborn, my way is just better than yours. Anonymous
Know Quotes Short Quotes
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Sayings
Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I think I may need professional help... A chef, a butler and a maid should be enough. Anonymous
Sayings Think Quotes
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch. - Anonymous
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. - Anonymous
I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like. Anonymous
Statements
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. - Anonymous
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes

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