Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. - Anonymous
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Top 100
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. - Anonymous
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments
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It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
Cupcakes
If you know how many cupcakes I'm holding behind my back I'll give you both of them. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. - Anonymous
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes World Quotes
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments Top 100
How can you hurt someone with words? Hit them with a dictionary. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I wonder what people do with all the time they save by writing "K" instead of "OK." Anonymous
Questions
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. - Anonymous
I know my limits. I don't always obey them, but I know them. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous
Work Quotes

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