Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous
I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. - Anonymous
We are going to be best friends forever... besides you already know too much. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes Short Quotes
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. - Anonymous
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt. Anonymous
Sayings Stupid Quotes
Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. - Anonymous
When someone asks where you see yourself in 5 years... Buddy, I'm just trying to make it to Friday. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. - Anonymous
Today I saw a woman talking to her cat, she really thought the cat understood. I told my dog when I got home... we both had a good laugh. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Dog Quotes
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. - Anonymous
That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes Top 100
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes

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