Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. - Anonymous
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
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Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. - Anonymous
Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me? - Anonymous
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. - Anonymous
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. - Anonymous
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Top 100
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.
It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. - Anonymous
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes

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