Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch. - Anonymous
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
A girl called me once and said 'come over, nobody is home!' I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home! Anonymous
Moments
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. Anonymous
Drinking Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
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Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. - Anonymous
Relax, it's the weekend... just don't blink or it will be all over. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. - Anonymous
Do I run? Yes.. Out of time, patients and money. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous
When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous
Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with...
A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. - Anonymous
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever. Anonymous
Phone Sayings
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. - Anonymous
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. Anonymous
Life Quotes

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