Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

A girl called me once and said 'come over, nobody is home!' I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home! Anonymous
Moments
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements Top 100
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. - Anonymous
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous
Animals
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I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. - Anonymous
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. - Anonymous
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Life Quotes
Smile like a monkey with a new banana. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. - Anonymous
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. - Anonymous
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous
Exercise Quotes

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