Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

$I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. - Anonymous$

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. Anonymous

Short Quotes TV Quotes

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous

Exercise Quotes

Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous

Sayings

I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Our love is like a train with no brakes, unstoppable. Anonymous

Analogies Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous

Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes

Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. Anonymous

Short Quotes TV Quotes

You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me. Anonymous

Facebook

This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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