Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous
What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
I'm always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. - Anonymous
How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Life Quotes
Smile like a monkey with a new banana. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. - Anonymous
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. - Anonymous
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes
People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous
Sayings
I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop. - Anonymous
I'm slowly becoming an adult... please make it stop. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes

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