Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
I'm dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you're talking and not hear a single word you said. Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... - Anonymous
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Childhood injuries: Fell off my bike, fell out of a tree, twisted my ankle. Adult injuries: Slept wrong, sat down too long, sneezed too hard. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" Anonymous
Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions
I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up. - Anonymous
I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up. Anonymous
Computers Short Quotes
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. - Anonymous
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. Anonymous
Life Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes

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