Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? - Anonymous
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller? Anonymous
Questions Top 100
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. - Anonymous
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. - Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes Top 100
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. - Anonymous
Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me. Anonymous
Facebook
I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
This too shall pass... It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. - Anonymous
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous
Sayings

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