Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous
Sayings
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
Money Quotes Questions
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Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous
Sayings
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?!
I look at the moon and it looks really beautiful!.. Then I look at you... and.. I think I'll look at the moon again?! Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Top 100
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate. - Anonymous
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
Questions
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. - Anonymous
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. - Anonymous
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes

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