Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg. Anonymous
Short Quotes Statements
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.' Anonymous
Man Quotes Questions
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Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. - Anonymous
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas. Anonymous
Drinking Life Quotes
Actual meanings of various terms.
Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.
 Anonymous
Money Quotes Stupid Quotes Work Quotes
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying. Anonymous
I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won't let me. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. - Anonymous
I can't decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. - Anonymous
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. Anonymous
Sayings Witty Quotes Work Quotes
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. - Anonymous
Cavities are like parking tickets, they show up by surprise and take all your pocket money. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous
Animals Eat Quotes

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