Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's like 7 years in a row now. Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. - Anonymous
Lead me not into temptation... Oh who am I kidding, follow me, I know a shortcut. Anonymous
Sayings
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I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. - Anonymous
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Anonymous
Statements
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. - Anonymous
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous
Questions
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. - Anonymous
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make one wool sweater. I didn't even know they knew how to knit. Anonymous
Animals Know Quotes
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. - Anonymous
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. - Anonymous
Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents. Anonymous
Sayings
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night. - Anonymous
I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night. Anonymous
Life Quotes

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