Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say Help, I've been turned into a parrot.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous
Animals
Beer together
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Moments
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? - Anonymous
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where is the pop corn? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. - Anonymous
All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Anonymous
Questions
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous
I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. Anonymous
Life Quotes
It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. - Anonymous
It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. Anonymous
Good Quotes Love Quotes
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys.
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. - Anonymous
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. - Anonymous
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes

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