Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. - Anonymous
I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. - Anonymous
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Why can't the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week. - Anonymous
Each year in the USA, 16 people are attacked by sharks and 6000 by goats . We don't need shark week, we need goat week. Anonymous
TV Quotes
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that. Anonymous
Time Quotes
Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to. - Anonymous
Me: I am so glad I saved all this money. Me again: It's time to spend it, you know you want to. Anonymous
Money Quotes
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Questions
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom. Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. Anonymous
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. - Anonymous
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Time Quotes
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? - Anonymous
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes

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