Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys.
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. - Anonymous
It's a good thing I brought my library card because I'm totally checking you out. Anonymous
Good Quotes Love Quotes
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Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. - Anonymous
Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. Anonymous
Short Quotes Time Quotes Work Quotes
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. - Anonymous
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. - Anonymous
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. - Anonymous
Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet. Anonymous
Internet Life Quotes
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. - Anonymous
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Do you have a band-aid, because I just scraped my knee falling in love with you. - Anonymous
Do you have a band-aid, because I just scraped my knee falling in love with you. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Learning a foreign language is pointless, I’m not even allowed to talk to strangers. - Anonymous
Learning a foreign language is pointless, I’m not even allowed to talk to strangers. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Sayings
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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