Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. - Anonymous
Today I started gardening... I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day. Anonymous
TV Quotes
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
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All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? - Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. - Anonymous
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Work Quotes
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. - Anonymous
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
Cheer myself up.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes Top 100
I told my boss three companies were looking after me and I needed a raise. He asked who they were, so told him the gas, electric and cable company. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. - Anonymous
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. - Anonymous
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone. Anonymous
People Quotes Phone
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. - Anonymous
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. Anonymous
People Quotes

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