Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

That annoying moment when you're texting someone and auto-correct decides to join the conversation. Anonymous
Moments
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. - Anonymous
I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. - Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. - Anonymous
I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. - Anonymous
My new year resolutions: 1. Stop procrastinating so much. 2. I'll post the rest tomorrow or whenever. Anonymous
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? - Anonymous
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? Anonymous
Love Quotes
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. - Anonymous
I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! Anonymous
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. - Anonymous
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. - Anonymous
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." - Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits." Anonymous
Facebook Friend Quotes Top 100
Men are like bank accounts.<br/> Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. - Anonymous
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Anonymous
Analogies Never Quotes Short Quotes

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