Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous

Witty Quotes

My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. Anonymous

Computers Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

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What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous

Moments Money Quotes

One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. Anonymous

Life Quotes

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more. Anonymous

Short Quotes Think Quotes

Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Moments Sayings

Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to score properly! Anonymous

Stupid Quotes

To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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