Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

Husband: I am a grown man, stop mothering me. Also husband: Have you seen my keys? Have you seen my wallet? Where did we park? I don't have clean underwear. Anonymous

Life Quotes Marriage Quotes

Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous

One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. Anonymous

Life Quotes

You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous

Witty Quotes

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous

Moments Money Quotes

My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. Anonymous

Computers Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Internet

I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out? Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Dear mathematicians: Stop asking us to find your x. She has a new boyfriend. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Moments Sayings

Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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