Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

They call it "fell asleep" but it should be more like "entered a mental state of regeneration." Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous

Phone

My darling, this scenery makes me speechless. Husband: Perfect, we're setting up tent here. Anonymous

Love Quotes Marriage Quotes

If your New Years Resolution was to eat out less, you're killing it. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge Anonymous

Analogies Short Quotes

The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it. Anonymous

Animals Short Quotes

If you're all wrapped up in yourself then you are overdressed. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping. Anonymous

Short Quotes

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

If I'm constantly bothering you, it means you're an important person. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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