Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth. Anonymous
Your cake
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous
Eat Quotes Good Quotes Sayings
Teachers are really pirates that are using us to find the "X". Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes
Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. Anonymous
Drinking People Quotes Short Quotes
Here's human empathy for you: Things die all over our windshields and we're like, "Man, I just washed this!" Anonymous
Life Quotes
I'm not sure what is more scary these days, checking my temperature or checking my weight. Anonymous
Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days. Anonymous
Short Quotes
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. - Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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