Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Does anyone else rip off their mask after walking out of a store, like they just finished a disappointing surgery on Grey's Anatomy? Anonymous

Questions

I'm staying up past midnight this New Year's eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over. Anonymous

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can't make coffee without water. Anonymous

Honestly, I don't even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I'm like "I guess this is what we're doing now." Anonymous

Life Quotes

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth. Anonymous

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous

Eat Quotes Good Quotes Sayings

Teachers are really pirates that are using us to find the "X". Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway. Anonymous

Drinking People Quotes Short Quotes

Here's human empathy for you: Things die all over our windshields and we're like, "Man, I just washed this!" Anonymous

Life Quotes

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days. Anonymous

Short Quotes

What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Questions

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous

Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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