Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days. Anonymous
Short Quotes
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
Teachers are really pirates that are using us to find the "X". Anonymous
Math Quotes Short Quotes
Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. - Anonymous
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I don't care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive. Anonymous
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. Anonymous
I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. - Anonymous
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes

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