Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous
The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. Anonymous
Statements
Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
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Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. Anonymous
There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous
When someone asks "Are you crazy?" Just answer "Yes" to end that conversation. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
I'm so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I think my soulmate might be carbs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous

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