Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: "Act normal, you are innocent." Anonymous
I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I think my soulmate might be carbs. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. - Anonymous
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday! Anonymous
Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous
Dog Quotes Eat Quotes
I'm so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Auto-correct is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things. Anonymous
Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool." Anonymous
You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know. Anonymous

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