Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. Anonymous

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

I don't know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours. Anonymous

Love Quotes

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them... They're just looking for their brain. Anonymous

I'm so tired of saying "Oh darn, forgot to put on my mask." Like I'm Batman or something. Anonymous

Life Quotes

I think my soulmate might be carbs. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I'm as single as a one dollar bill, and I don't need any change. Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous

I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous

Short Quotes

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? Anonymous

Money Quotes Short Quotes

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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