Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My brain says "Let's do something exciting today" but my body says "Don't listen to that fool." Anonymous

You come from dust and you'll return to dust, so that's why I never dust. It could be someone I know. Anonymous

Happiness is eating an entire pizza in front of a friend who's on a diet. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Happy Quotes Short Quotes

I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous

Wife Quotes

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Don't scare me, I fart easily. Anonymous

People Quotes Short Quotes

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Why shouldn't you ever iron a four leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck. Anonymous

Questions

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments. Anonymous

Work Quotes

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word. Anonymous

Short Quotes

Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous

Short Quotes

I hate math... but I love counting money. Anonymous

Math Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes

Covid Health tip: If you hold a can of beer in both hands, you can't touch your face. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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